Lispian Random meanderings on whatever catches my fancy

Americans and Nipples

I just don’t get it. I probably never will. What, you may wonder? Why America’s bizarre inability to handle seeing a woman’s nipple bared anywhere. The country has some type of serious mental problem in this regard. It simply remains unbelievable that they are more than willing to show people graphically and realistically being killed, blown up, etc. on TV with little if any comment as to what that might be doing to the psyche of our youth and yet if a nipple is shown the whole country goes into a spasm. It’s unbelievable.

In fact, I don’t think anyone has ever been killed by a nipple. It’s quite useful as it’s used to nurture a child from birth to a point at which it can easily take solid foods. But guns, bombs, knives, etc. all are known to kill and are used in most heinous ways regularly.

So this puts US writers, producers, actors, etc. in the odd position of being able to show a body blowing up — as happened in numerous shows, and most graphically in my opinion on Grey’s Anatomy — but not be able to show a woman breastfeeding, which is most natural and best for the baby.

Of course, and this is ironic, the same people that most complain about seeing a nipple are the ones who are usually the most ardent supporters of “family values”, etc. But the “guns ok, nipples bad” mentality is really really weird.

I remember when a friend of mine from the US came up here to Ottawa one summer and was aghast that some women were topless on the beach. I just shrugged and said “So what? Men are topless.” I really don’t see the problem. If someone wants to go topless to get an all-over tan, so be it. Why this outrages some remains a true mystery to me.

The reason I’m writing this is because, once again, the US is beside themselves because someone had a “wardrobe malfunction” and a nipple made an appearance. No one died. Nothing major truly happened. Yet it garners page upon page of reporting. I would bet the total amount of press spent on bare nipples since Janet Jackson’s “malfunction” is greater than what will be spent on the aftermath of Sandy. It’s unbelievable.

For God’s sake people, it’s just part of everyone’s body. Get over it. It’s just a nipple.

I do fear for what would happen if a whole breast pops out during some malfunction. Will the entire US go catatonic? Will it signal the End Times? Will the world end? Not with a bang, but with mouths agape at some woman’s nipple?

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November 2012
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